I Wanna Be Bad
by Kiye
Summary: Harry wants to be bad, Draco doesn’t get it, Hermione is distraught, Dean talks about Batman, Ron is impressed, and McGonagall…has a threesome? Read & Review! (If I don’t get any reviews I’m giving up on song-fic writing!)


Author: Chikheart  
  
Title: I Wanna Be Bad  
  
Pairings: H/D, R/Hr  
  
Rating: R (Lime)  
  
Genre: A teeny smudgeon of angst, mainly humor.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not mine at all. Harry & Draco belong to JKR and "I Wanna Be Bad" belongs to Willa Ford ^^  
  
Summary: Harry wants to be bad, Draco doesn't get it, Hermione is distraught, Dean talks about Batman, Ron is impressed, and McGonagall.has a threesome? Read & Review! (If I don't get any reviews I'm giving up on song- fic writing!)  
  
A/N: ~*~*~* frames lyrics of "I Wanna Be Bad" and * * * indicates scene shift.  
  
Thank you venenatus.venustas for betaing!! Teeheee. Glad you liked sexy!Harry. . . ^^  
  
Enjoy! Read and review!! ^^  
  
*  
  
I WANNA BE BAD  
  
*~*~*  
  
Oh, I, I, I  
  
I wanna be bad with you baby  
  
I, I, I, I  
  
I wanna be bad with you baby  
  
My turn  
  
Let me let you know that I can  
  
Promise that I won't do that  
  
So boy, say the time and place 'cause you make me wanna misbehave  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Harry did you think you were *doing*?" came the shrill cry of Hermione as soon as they stepped out of McGonagall's classroom.  
  
"Nothing," said Harry innocently. "Why?"  
  
"You-" Hermione gesticulated angrily, "just told her to go and-" she stopped, coughed, and glared at him.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"HARRY!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Hermione scowled and cleared her throat. "Harry Potter," she said very dangerously, "You just told Professor McGonagall to have a *threesome* with Snape and *Dumbledore*, as she is too 'stressed'!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"A THREESOME WITH SNAPE AND DUMBLEDORE!" screamed Hermione, looking ready to punch the living daylights out of Harry.  
  
At this the entire corridor quieted to turn and stare at Hermione.  
  
"What?" said Hermione, looking harassed.  
  
Dean coughed. "I never thought you had it in you Herm," he said, trying not to laugh. "Snape's a pretty good looking bloke when he's not doing the Batman thing with his robe."  
  
"A little pouty, but I'm sure he'd rank a 3 or so," chipped in Seamus.  
  
"Bet he smells exotic," added Neville.  
  
"And the Headmaster has a huge bed," said Lavender helpfully.  
  
"Not *me*!" Hermione said, stomping the ground angrily. "Don't you *get* it? Harry told McGonagall to have a *threesome* with Snape and Dumbledore since she's so *stressed*!"  
  
"Really?" came the voice of Ron, sliding next to Harry. "Impressive," he said, looking every inch impressed.  
  
"You could get *expelled*!" wailed Hermione.  
  
"Where'd our beloved Hero Potter go?" drawled one particular Draco Malfoy. "Or is this the revamped version of our Hero-the Boy Who Lived And Thinks Bad Thoughts?"  
  
~*~*~*  
  
I wanna be bad  
  
You make bad look so good  
  
I got things on my mind  
  
I never thought I would  
  
I, I wanna be bad  
  
You make bad feel so good  
  
I'm losing all my cool  
  
I'm about to break the rules  
  
I, I wanna be bad  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Again the corridor quieted, obviously expecting the usual fight between the two.  
  
Instead of retorting, Harry blushed a very fetching red. Or so Draco thought.  
  
Ron nudged Harry not-so-discreetly with his elbow. "At this part you're supposed to say something really mean about him, his family, or his sex life," he whispered rather loudly.  
  
"I actually *have* one, Weasley," smirked Draco. "I highly doubt you've ever gotten laid."  
  
"I have too!" snapped Ron.  
  
Draco arched an eyebrow. "Oh really? Who's the *lucky* girl?"  
  
Ron blushed to the tips of his ears and lowered his head bashfully.  
  
Everyone stared.  
  
Not once, in six years, had Ron Weasley ever backed down from Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Oh *god*!" said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "If you must know Malfoy, it was *me*. Now just *shoo*."  
  
A collective gasp echoed throughout the corridor.  
  
Draco looked shocked but quickly collected himself. "Cute Granger, you and Weasley. Mudbloods should run along with their kind."  
  
Ron's eyes narrowed.  
  
Perhaps Harry had an overactive imagination, but did Draco look *pleased* at the news?  
  
Hermione shrugged. "I never knew *you* would be the type to go for H-"  
  
In an instant Draco's hand was clapped over Hermione's mouth. "Shut up, you filthy little Mudblood," he snarled. "Don't you *ever*."  
  
"Let *go* of her!" roared Ron, pushing Draco's hand away.  
  
Hermione stood up, wiping her mouth. "Aren't you afraid you just touched a *Mudblood* Malfoy?" she taunted.  
  
"MR. POTTER AND MR. MALFOY,"  
  
Harry turned around to see Professor McGonagall, hands on her hips.  
  
"I didn't do anything Professor!" Harry said automatically.  
  
"I'm sure," said the Professor dryly. "And I *did* something to spark your imagination to put me, Professor Snape, and the Headmaster in one bed?"  
  
Harry made a strangled sound behind his throat.  
  
"As much as the image is displeasing, it *is* your imagination Mr. Potter. Now, Mr. Malfoy, come here."  
  
"Yes Professor?"  
  
"You will be teaching Mr. Potter Potions tonight, nine o' clock sharp, my classroom."  
  
Draco grinned. "I look forward to it, Professor."  
  
Harry didn't say anything.  
  
* * *  
  
"POTTER!"  
  
"What?" said Harry, choking down a laugh.  
  
"Was that *perfume*?"  
  
"Red Door," said Harry very calmly. "Don't like it?"  
  
"When did you become so *bad*?"  
  
"Don't you want me to?" asked Harry, lowering his eyes, his voice husky.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Should I boy  
  
Tell me what I got is what ya want  
  
Tell me do I, I turn you on  
  
I don't want no one judging me  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Draco coughed. "Are you-are you suggesting a threesome with Weasley?"  
  
Harry looked momentarily startled. "No!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Just with you!" his eyes grew wide. "Did I just say that aloud?" he added as an afterthought.  
  
"Yup," said Draco, looking dazed.  
  
"NO!" Harry cried, running out of the classroom with both hands clasped over his mouth.  
  
Draco stared at him for one second before the meaning of Harry's words sunk into his skull.  
  
Then he ran right after Harry.  
  
* * *  
  
"Let go of me!" Harry clawed at Draco, squirming against the wall, his eyes shut tightly and his glasses nowhere to be seen.  
  
"God-Harry-don't you."  
  
"Let go!"  
  
"Understand-"  
  
"Let GO!"  
  
Harry stopped fighting against Draco for one second to breathe.  
  
Draco took his chance.  
  
"I want to, too, Harry."  
  
Emerald green eyes opened to stare into Draco's cloudy gray ones.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Goddamit, Potter!"  
  
"What did I-"  
  
Draco kissed him. Hard.  
  
There was a muffled sound of "Oh" before Harry pushed Draco on the ground and slithered on top of him.  
  
Harry sucked on Draco's bottom lip, their tongues intertwining.  
  
Draco let out a small whimper when Harry rubbed against him.  
  
"You're such a bad boy, Harry," he whispered.  
  
"Only with you," Harry murmured against Draco's lips. "Only *for* you."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Tell me what to do, how to be, teach me  
  
All you your rules from A to Z,  
  
But I, I dont wantcha other girls to see  
  
that you're messin' round with me  
  
~*~*~*  
  
* * *  
  
"You're *mine* Draco," said Harry a *good* deal later, with Draco on top of him.  
  
"Mmmm. How did you get to be so bad?"  
  
"By watching you," said Harry bashfully.  
  
Draco looked surprised. "Why?"  
  
"Because," said Harry seductively, tracing patterns on Draco's earlobe with his tongue, "You make bad look so *good*."  
  
~fin~  
  
"I wanna be bad  
  
You make bad look so good  
  
I got things on my mind  
  
I never thought I would  
  
I, I wanna be bad  
  
You make bad feel so good  
  
I'm losing all my cool  
  
I'm about to break the rules  
  
I, I wanna be bad."  
  
- "I Wanna Be Bad" - Willa Ford  
  
* * *  
  
* * *  
  
* * *  
  
* * *  
  
*A/N: I think this song is *perfect* for H/D.don't you?  
  
*grins cheekily* I was listening to this song one faithful day, and I had this inspiration. Hehe. Please R&R! If I don't get any reviews I'm giving up on this song-fic thing! *big massive sulk*  
  
Anyways, I know, I should be working on NASAS but still.I'm bored and NASAS needs some serious thinking before I'll be getting anywhere. So enjoy all these happy fics as they last ^^  
  
~Jen 


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